Yesterday, Earth Day 2017, was March for Science; a protest of the current administration's anti-science stance. The current administration denies global warming, has gutted the EPA.
As a degreed scientist, you'd think I'd be right out there marching, right?
Wrong!
Because I have worked in the field, both non-profit & for-profit, I know that scientific research in this country is not "pure."
There are 2 ways to get money to fund your research - the government (NSF, NIH, NIMH & others) or corporations. Each has their own agenda. If your research will not, or does not, give the desired results -- you will not (continue to) get funding.
This is the truth in America.
There are no "Let's study this and find out what's what" grants.
Every administration has its priorities. Every corporation has its agenda. The research that gets funded are those projects most likely to produce the results the big-wigs want publicized.
When global warming/climate change was 1st being investigated, there were 2 research groups. The other think-tank that produced very different results than those that are now generally accepted and have been formalized by the IPCC. They got shouted down, or quietly moved off the media.
I remember. I was waiting to see what the consensus would be, between 2 large, well-respected groups. I assumed the scientific method would prevail. It didn't. Hysteria & fear-mongering took over. Whatever result got the biggest headlines got publicized.
Do you know, since the 1970s, there has been a push to get US citizens out of our cars? Even back then, people were advocating reducing our dependence on foreign oil. Some wanted us to spend money on developing American oil. Others simply wanted us to reduce the use of petroleum products - from any source.
Public transportation was touted. Economy cars, compacts & sub-compacts sprang into favor. Gas economy, better mpg (which seems to have topped out at 36mpg, but that's another story). That kind of went by the wayside when SUVs came in -- suddenly, everybody wanted big, tough vehicles again. $4/gal gas seemed to slow that tide.
In recent years, gasoline prices have dropped. I personally think that was an economic power-play on Obama's part after Putin's bullying tactics in Ukraine. The US closed off markets for Russian oil, Putin's economy collapsed, American consumers rejoiced, without understanding how that happened. (PS: I admire that Putin paid off his IMF loans & kicked the banking cartel out of his country. His tactics, however, remain decidedly non-humanitarian.)
Through the years, I keep thinking 2 things: 1) Dictators hate a mobile population; and 2) We absolutely need to get off the oil standard if we want to keep our freedom.
Oh - climate change? Whatever you think causes it, it's here, and we have to figure out how to live with what's coming.
Science? Good stuff. Get the government out of it.
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Friday, August 1, 2014
The Faceless Fuck
Sex "doggie style" allows a man to get a faceless fuck. He doesn't have to look at a person, doesn't have to think of anything except his dick and a wet hole.
How many times have you ever gotten a reach around? How many times has he said your name while he was screwing you from behind? Or is it all "Oh baby; oh baby"? Ever kiss your neck? Or does he grab your neck (or your hair) & hold you down?
Not you at all -- just some pussy.
Anal sex is about your pussy being too loose. And again - ever get a reach around? Does he touch your breasts while he's pumping your ass? Your clit? Or does he just hold onto your hips and go for the gold?
Faceless fuck. You're not involved at all.
How many times have you ever gotten a reach around? How many times has he said your name while he was screwing you from behind? Or is it all "Oh baby; oh baby"? Ever kiss your neck? Or does he grab your neck (or your hair) & hold you down?
Not you at all -- just some pussy.
Anal sex is about your pussy being too loose. And again - ever get a reach around? Does he touch your breasts while he's pumping your ass? Your clit? Or does he just hold onto your hips and go for the gold?
Faceless fuck. You're not involved at all.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
A friend of mine posted on Facebook his disgust at finding expressed breast milk bottles in the fridge at work. He was very denigrating, used the phrase "teat secretions" and compared the milk to other bodily fluids such as urine, blood or semen.He didn't feel like he should be exposed to the sight.
My 1st thought was to agree with him, these are results (and the known action that produced them) that should be hidden. Then I stopped myself and asked where that thought had come from. Instantly, I knew it came from our male-dominated society, which requires all bodily functions of the female, other than sex or beauty, be kept out of sight. We don't pee, we don't fart, we don't shit, and breast-feeding is a private activity.
I saw a vision of Crusaders wiping out a village, pulling babes from their mothers' arms & killing them, throwing the women down & raping them; then laughing about how they're in shock, crying and "leaking." Beating them for their emotions and their bodily functions.
I got angry. I got very angry, especially when I realized how many centuries this has been going on.
Pregnant and nursing women, and infant/young humans, require protection. The majority of men understand & accept this. Our "leaders" and their bullying troops use that vulnerability to ascend to power. With their mouths, they praise the sanctity of motherhood and children, but their actions expose the lie.
A woman and her brats -- excluding the man who co-created those "brats" and put her in that position of need & vulnerability.
All the societal rules, meant to protect initially, became a means of oppression. From my Feminist Philosophy course, back in the 80s: The police (mostly men) and the judicial system (mostly men) are there to protect you from criminals --- (mostly) other men! Closed loop system. Catch-22. Please the men or suffer the consequences.
Economic equality & birth control are the greatest emancipators of women.
I can analyze this 2 ways. I can see it as a way to remove power from women and make them dependent on men for their very lives. Or, I can see it as a way to control other men.
This is terrorism, pure & simple. This is bullying - bullying 51% of the human race.
My 1st question is: Why is it so necessary to keep women from power? Even the Church, supposedly a Spiritual Entity, does everything it can to keep women at a lower level of spiritual empowerment.
Another thought -- this is a way to control production. If you control those who produce the next generation - the most valuable commodity in the world -- you control everything.
But why, then, does the same power structure devalue children so much? Why do they condone armies killing children, selling children into slavery? Ah! They want to control the children - control the next generation.
Power & control.
Terrorists and other thugs "win" because they do outrageous, unthinkable things before anybody can defend against them -- like snatching a schoolgirl off a bus & beating her half to death. People are so frightened by the raging violence of their actions that they don't/can't stand up to them or stop them.
How is this any different?
My 1st thought was to agree with him, these are results (and the known action that produced them) that should be hidden. Then I stopped myself and asked where that thought had come from. Instantly, I knew it came from our male-dominated society, which requires all bodily functions of the female, other than sex or beauty, be kept out of sight. We don't pee, we don't fart, we don't shit, and breast-feeding is a private activity.
I saw a vision of Crusaders wiping out a village, pulling babes from their mothers' arms & killing them, throwing the women down & raping them; then laughing about how they're in shock, crying and "leaking." Beating them for their emotions and their bodily functions.
I got angry. I got very angry, especially when I realized how many centuries this has been going on.
Pregnant and nursing women, and infant/young humans, require protection. The majority of men understand & accept this. Our "leaders" and their bullying troops use that vulnerability to ascend to power. With their mouths, they praise the sanctity of motherhood and children, but their actions expose the lie.
A woman and her brats -- excluding the man who co-created those "brats" and put her in that position of need & vulnerability.
All the societal rules, meant to protect initially, became a means of oppression. From my Feminist Philosophy course, back in the 80s: The police (mostly men) and the judicial system (mostly men) are there to protect you from criminals --- (mostly) other men! Closed loop system. Catch-22. Please the men or suffer the consequences.
Economic equality & birth control are the greatest emancipators of women.
I can analyze this 2 ways. I can see it as a way to remove power from women and make them dependent on men for their very lives. Or, I can see it as a way to control other men.
This is terrorism, pure & simple. This is bullying - bullying 51% of the human race.
My 1st question is: Why is it so necessary to keep women from power? Even the Church, supposedly a Spiritual Entity, does everything it can to keep women at a lower level of spiritual empowerment.
Another thought -- this is a way to control production. If you control those who produce the next generation - the most valuable commodity in the world -- you control everything.
But why, then, does the same power structure devalue children so much? Why do they condone armies killing children, selling children into slavery? Ah! They want to control the children - control the next generation.
Power & control.
Terrorists and other thugs "win" because they do outrageous, unthinkable things before anybody can defend against them -- like snatching a schoolgirl off a bus & beating her half to death. People are so frightened by the raging violence of their actions that they don't/can't stand up to them or stop them.
How is this any different?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Superstition & Miracles
Heard the song "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder. It got me thinking. Is the "germ theory" superstition? Do we stay well if we wash our hands/keep things clean because we believe we will? If we believed that bacteria & viruses had no power over us, would disease end?
Perhaps we simply give germs a temporary home, acknowledging that they are living beings, a spark of the Divine just as much as we are. Perhaps we're not meant to die because of them, but simply enable them to live, also.
A philosophy I follow states that we humans have collective agreements that capture us and affect our lives. We believe, collectively, that as we age, we deteriorate. So we do. And if we want to disengage from that collective belief, it's very hard, since it surrounds us, and we've incorporated it into our "knowing" since childhood.
So, the song suggests religion & science are both based on superstitions - believing in things we don't understand.
Then I saw a picture on Facebook that said - we all are Enough. We are all, each & every one of us, a Miracle. And I saw, for a second, the Earth sparkling with powerful Miracles, on the beach, in the cars, at desks, in stores, rocking babies, pounding nails, laying bricks. Is this how God sees the world? All of us Miracles He has Created, the entire planet sparkling with miracles? Bigger question: Do any of us realize what miracles we are, what power that gives us? Even bigger question: Can I keep that in mind as I go about my day? Each & every person I encounter is a miracle, created by God.
We bind ourselves in chains of superstition. We are actually powerful miracles.
Perhaps we simply give germs a temporary home, acknowledging that they are living beings, a spark of the Divine just as much as we are. Perhaps we're not meant to die because of them, but simply enable them to live, also.
A philosophy I follow states that we humans have collective agreements that capture us and affect our lives. We believe, collectively, that as we age, we deteriorate. So we do. And if we want to disengage from that collective belief, it's very hard, since it surrounds us, and we've incorporated it into our "knowing" since childhood.
So, the song suggests religion & science are both based on superstitions - believing in things we don't understand.
Then I saw a picture on Facebook that said - we all are Enough. We are all, each & every one of us, a Miracle. And I saw, for a second, the Earth sparkling with powerful Miracles, on the beach, in the cars, at desks, in stores, rocking babies, pounding nails, laying bricks. Is this how God sees the world? All of us Miracles He has Created, the entire planet sparkling with miracles? Bigger question: Do any of us realize what miracles we are, what power that gives us? Even bigger question: Can I keep that in mind as I go about my day? Each & every person I encounter is a miracle, created by God.
We bind ourselves in chains of superstition. We are actually powerful miracles.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Dream
I had a dream. I've been asking God/Source/HP/Universe to tell me what I'm meant to do. I just don't think CallCenter is the be-all of what I'm meant to do. So, I've been trying to be open to suggestions from my soul. These days, I don't remember much of my dreams. But one scene from this one has stuck with me in living color.
So, I'm sitting someplace with my peeps -- family, friends. Can't remember who exactly, but people I knew, trusted, felt comfortable with. And I hear a voice in my head say "You are a demon-hunter." One part of me simply accepts this "Yes. The other part of me says, "What?!?" Then I see I have a manila envelope in my hand. I draw the papers out, and they contain information about who my next target is. I skim them, but don't really read them. I look up, and realize the papers are talking about the group of men sitting across the lounge/bar from me/us. They are them - demons. Look like regular guys to me, young adults, full of themselves, putting down all around them, looking forward to a wild time wherever they're going. one, the leader, is a taller, athletic-looking blond.
Demons?
I watch them, measuringly, observing. The blond looks around, notices me watching them and seems to recognize ... me? what I am? my mission?
They call our plane, and we fly to NY, where we catch a cruise ship going to Reyjavik, London, then out to the Baltics.
Dream ends.
I remember thinking "How am I supposed to fight demons? I'm a short, fat, 59yr old woman. Out of shape, untrained in weapons of any kind." And something settles within me, knowing I will have what I need, become what I need, when the time comes.
So, I'm sitting someplace with my peeps -- family, friends. Can't remember who exactly, but people I knew, trusted, felt comfortable with. And I hear a voice in my head say "You are a demon-hunter." One part of me simply accepts this "Yes. The other part of me says, "What?!?" Then I see I have a manila envelope in my hand. I draw the papers out, and they contain information about who my next target is. I skim them, but don't really read them. I look up, and realize the papers are talking about the group of men sitting across the lounge/bar from me/us. They are them - demons. Look like regular guys to me, young adults, full of themselves, putting down all around them, looking forward to a wild time wherever they're going. one, the leader, is a taller, athletic-looking blond.
Demons?
I watch them, measuringly, observing. The blond looks around, notices me watching them and seems to recognize ... me? what I am? my mission?
They call our plane, and we fly to NY, where we catch a cruise ship going to Reyjavik, London, then out to the Baltics.
Dream ends.
I remember thinking "How am I supposed to fight demons? I'm a short, fat, 59yr old woman. Out of shape, untrained in weapons of any kind." And something settles within me, knowing I will have what I need, become what I need, when the time comes.
It's an election year again, and, as usual, people's vituperativeness about political choices amazes me. Don't we live in a country where we are encouraged to be our own self? Think for ourself, develop our own opinions? Why, if I think differently than you, does that make me stupid, or selfish, or .... fill in your epithet of choice.
Feels like bullying to me.
Whatever happened to "agree to disagree" ? Or being a member of the "loyal opposition"?
Feels like bullying to me.
Whatever happened to "agree to disagree" ? Or being a member of the "loyal opposition"?
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The True Eden
While listening to Lionel Ritchies's "All Night Long" -- I had an insight. I understood where the cultural meme that you must work hard in this life came from.
The line from the song was "Throw away the work to be done" and I thought -- well then how does anything get done? And I thought about primitive cultures, Amazon tribes, South Sea islanders -- how do they function? I realized they live in places where one can go out into the environment & gather what is needed pretty easily (comparatively). Then I thought about being cast out of the Garden, and God saying "You shall eat by the sweat of your brow." -- which has always been the "proof" that we have to work hard.
Then I realized -- it's only because we left the presence of God that things got hard. If we live in God's grace -- living is not hard.
The line from the song was "Throw away the work to be done" and I thought -- well then how does anything get done? And I thought about primitive cultures, Amazon tribes, South Sea islanders -- how do they function? I realized they live in places where one can go out into the environment & gather what is needed pretty easily (comparatively). Then I thought about being cast out of the Garden, and God saying "You shall eat by the sweat of your brow." -- which has always been the "proof" that we have to work hard.
Then I realized -- it's only because we left the presence of God that things got hard. If we live in God's grace -- living is not hard.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Awareness
I saw tonight that I've been trying to re-create, for myself, the life I had when I was married. This has been my response to having a life I liked taken away from me. "Well, if we aren't going to have the life I want, I'll just give it to myself!"
I saw how that attitude has kept me chained to the past, including the pain of the divorce. I was constantly looking at what I'd had, comparing it to what I had now, and feeling less than. I've been unable to let go. In addition, I'd been trying to do what I'd done before, to achieve that kind of life, and it hasn't worked. Get a corporate job, move up a few rungs, get comfortable financially, and live as I did before.
It hasn't worked. I've had so little energy. When I think of possible new steps at my job, the energy & enthusiasm just drain away. When I think of doing the same thing for the next 11yrs -- I feel desperate & futile.
I have a new life! I can't have a New Life by doing the same old things. I did that already. Not that they were wrong -- just they were right for then, but not for now.
Everything changed and I've tried so hard to put it back the way it was -- to prove that nothing has changed.
God has put me someplace new, and I've refused to budge/change.
I need to be open to the new, open to possibilities, open to being changed.
I've been scared to change more than what has been changed for me. I felt more secure if I kept everything else the same. I could point to things and tell myself I was still OK.
What if where I'm supposed to go is better than I can imagine? What if what I'm supposed to do means no more immobilizing fear?
Wow.
I saw how that attitude has kept me chained to the past, including the pain of the divorce. I was constantly looking at what I'd had, comparing it to what I had now, and feeling less than. I've been unable to let go. In addition, I'd been trying to do what I'd done before, to achieve that kind of life, and it hasn't worked. Get a corporate job, move up a few rungs, get comfortable financially, and live as I did before.
It hasn't worked. I've had so little energy. When I think of possible new steps at my job, the energy & enthusiasm just drain away. When I think of doing the same thing for the next 11yrs -- I feel desperate & futile.
I have a new life! I can't have a New Life by doing the same old things. I did that already. Not that they were wrong -- just they were right for then, but not for now.
Everything changed and I've tried so hard to put it back the way it was -- to prove that nothing has changed.
God has put me someplace new, and I've refused to budge/change.
I need to be open to the new, open to possibilities, open to being changed.
I've been scared to change more than what has been changed for me. I felt more secure if I kept everything else the same. I could point to things and tell myself I was still OK.
What if where I'm supposed to go is better than I can imagine? What if what I'm supposed to do means no more immobilizing fear?
Wow.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Do I Work Hard For My Money?
I've always had a thing about making sure you knew I worked hard, that my job was hard, that I was justified in feeling tired or cranky at the end of the day.
** This was all before I knew what a Job doing all that actually was. **
I got married in 1974, when we were just edging out of the expectation that a woman would work until she had children. Women who had children & continued to work were either lawyers, doctors or some other type of high-powered professional; or they were single moms (not well-thought of), or had a dead-beat husband who couldn't/wouldn't provide for them.
I was determined to continue my precious career (I didn't know what it was, but by God, I was going to continue it!), I wasn't going to be relegated to the back seat financially in our relationship, always dependent on my man's good graces for every penny! I was going to contribute! My job wasn't just for pin money.
My job was not a joke.
So I made very sure you understood how hard I worked.
I think this thought process is no longer serving me. I think I've incorporated the "I work hard, I'm tired" concept internally way past the point of positive returns. Now I truly am always tired. Not as a justification - but really.
In the midwest, it was common to have other activities after work. No one I knew went home & vegged on a daily basis. People kinda looked at you funny if that's all you did. Getting out of work was the starting point for your "real" life. On moving here, I discovered most people thought an 8 hour day, 5-6 days a week, to be horrendous, and that one should take it easy after work.
I admit, I absorbed that concept -- it fed my "Look at how hard I work" meme. But now, I find myself longing for personal time, sleep, time to myself to do what I want with no expectations from others. My 8-9 hours a day seems too much. My job feels hard & tiring, like it sucks the energy out of me.
Is that true, am I tired? Or is it only my belief system? Is it truly different & more draining working a full week at 59, or am I starting to believe my own "advertising"?
I'm not sleepy-tired after a work day, but I'm out of enthusiasm, out of energy. I just want to be left alone. Most of the time, after a meal and about an hour and a half of vegging here on the 'puter, I'm ready to do something.
I need a better way to think about working. I'm going to experiment with changing my thoughts. See if that changes my energy level.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Sparkling Love - Connection
When a man has a connection with a woman - when she makes his head swirl and completely captivates him, and she feels the same with him -- this is what we all reach for, yes? This is true love, a soul mate, the prize we all dream of having.
Except, women who have been able to do that, have, in times past, been killed for being witches. Especially if she captivates the wrong man -- such as the leader of the Church, or a married man. Or many men.
It was too easy, in times past, for a man to explain his womanizing by blaming the woman -- the cry of "Witch!" was enough to exonerate him, and make sure she got run out of town, or killed.
The women who had that special sparkle, or the capacity to love totally, were weeded out - prevented from reproducing. What was left were those who could cast down their eyes, not fight back, tolerate loveless or brutal marriages "for the sake of the children."
But don't we all want, with the deepest fiber of our being, that complete connection with another person? Don't we all want our world to sparkle, to thrill to the other's breath on our skin, in our hair?
Except, women who have been able to do that, have, in times past, been killed for being witches. Especially if she captivates the wrong man -- such as the leader of the Church, or a married man. Or many men.
It was too easy, in times past, for a man to explain his womanizing by blaming the woman -- the cry of "Witch!" was enough to exonerate him, and make sure she got run out of town, or killed.
The women who had that special sparkle, or the capacity to love totally, were weeded out - prevented from reproducing. What was left were those who could cast down their eyes, not fight back, tolerate loveless or brutal marriages "for the sake of the children."
But don't we all want, with the deepest fiber of our being, that complete connection with another person? Don't we all want our world to sparkle, to thrill to the other's breath on our skin, in our hair?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
99% AND 53%
I am the 99%
I am a 58 year old divorced white woman. I have a degree in Biology. I worked in my field for almost 10 years. Then I "mommy-tracked" for 5 years, raising the 4 children we adopted from foster care. When I went back to the workforce, I was divorced & responsible for 2 of my children. I took whatever job I could get. I've never taken government aid except for 9months of Unemployment Insurance (which I figure I earned after working since I was 17), in 2009. I moved into a roommate situation while I was unemployed to reduce my expenses. I work in a call center, which pays my living expenses. I work OT to have anything more. I just recently got back into my own apartment. After working all my life, I have $1200 in retirement savings. I can't see any way I can retire. Social security won't pay me enough to pay rent, Medicare, etc -- altho I've paid into it with every paycheck I've ever gotten. I don't have enough time to re-build a 401(k). I got my education, paid my student loans back, worked all my life, volunteered at my church(es) & community. I will work til the day I die. I am the 99%
I am the 53%
I am a 58 year old divorced white woman. I put myself thru school working part-time & with loans, which I have paid back. We bought 2 houses. When banks told us we could afford more of a loan than we were applying for, I looked at our budget, and said "No we can't." I am responsible for my budget, not the banks. We adopted 4 special needs children from foster care. We raised our children, participated in their schools and their activities, in our church. After the divorce, it's been a scramble to keep the head above water. Except for 9 months on Unemployment, I've worked every day, paid my bills and taken care of my family as best I could -- with no help from the government. There are days I don't feel like getting out of bed. I do anyway. I work in a call center, nothing close to my degree. I show up every day and work OT when I can. I save what I can. I buy clothes & furniture at St. Vinnie's, shop the dollar stores. I take my lunch & coffee in a thermos every day. I make my own way in this world. I am the 53%
Both of these pictures are true. I resent people who, tho able-bodied, live off the government -- off MY taxes. I don't think any true American begrudges help to those who need it. I believe most are like me, willing to give when & where it's truly needed, resentful of those who play the system, who don't even try.
So, as OccupyWallStreet plays out -- I agree that corporate greed that places profit before either people or right behavior is wrong, and needs to be reined in. I want to see an end to the worldwide banking community dictating America's policies.
But I also wonder whose money is paying for the Occupiers to sit out of life in New York -- and the other places the protests are occurring? Are Mommy & Daddy paying your way, so you can protest against the companies that pay them? The devices you use as you sit in the park and march down the streets are better than I can afford. Are your parents paying your way -- or is the government -- which means ME?
Are you registered to vote? DO you vote? I do -- every single election since I turned 18.
I believe we absolutely have the right to protest whatever we see as wrong in our government.
I also believe we have the ability, & the right, in this country, to work for what we want. Do you see the mega-corps as evil empires? Don't buy their products. Don't work for them. Don't owe money on their credit card. Save up & pay cash. Save in a credit union, or small, locally-owned bank.
I believe in Dave Ramsey's Great Recovery. Get out of debt & save money. We need to go back to handling our money the old-fashioned way. This will help each individual, and, on the way, help the country.
I don't know the ultimate answer. I only know what I believe is the right way to live my own life. I'm getting myself out of debt. I'm saving money. I won't patronize BoA, Chase (and I owe them money), or any of the other megas.
However, I will invest in companies that are working for MY dreams.
I am a 58 year old divorced white woman. I have a degree in Biology. I worked in my field for almost 10 years. Then I "mommy-tracked" for 5 years, raising the 4 children we adopted from foster care. When I went back to the workforce, I was divorced & responsible for 2 of my children. I took whatever job I could get. I've never taken government aid except for 9months of Unemployment Insurance (which I figure I earned after working since I was 17), in 2009. I moved into a roommate situation while I was unemployed to reduce my expenses. I work in a call center, which pays my living expenses. I work OT to have anything more. I just recently got back into my own apartment. After working all my life, I have $1200 in retirement savings. I can't see any way I can retire. Social security won't pay me enough to pay rent, Medicare, etc -- altho I've paid into it with every paycheck I've ever gotten. I don't have enough time to re-build a 401(k). I got my education, paid my student loans back, worked all my life, volunteered at my church(es) & community. I will work til the day I die. I am the 99%
I am the 53%
I am a 58 year old divorced white woman. I put myself thru school working part-time & with loans, which I have paid back. We bought 2 houses. When banks told us we could afford more of a loan than we were applying for, I looked at our budget, and said "No we can't." I am responsible for my budget, not the banks. We adopted 4 special needs children from foster care. We raised our children, participated in their schools and their activities, in our church. After the divorce, it's been a scramble to keep the head above water. Except for 9 months on Unemployment, I've worked every day, paid my bills and taken care of my family as best I could -- with no help from the government. There are days I don't feel like getting out of bed. I do anyway. I work in a call center, nothing close to my degree. I show up every day and work OT when I can. I save what I can. I buy clothes & furniture at St. Vinnie's, shop the dollar stores. I take my lunch & coffee in a thermos every day. I make my own way in this world. I am the 53%
Both of these pictures are true. I resent people who, tho able-bodied, live off the government -- off MY taxes. I don't think any true American begrudges help to those who need it. I believe most are like me, willing to give when & where it's truly needed, resentful of those who play the system, who don't even try.
So, as OccupyWallStreet plays out -- I agree that corporate greed that places profit before either people or right behavior is wrong, and needs to be reined in. I want to see an end to the worldwide banking community dictating America's policies.
But I also wonder whose money is paying for the Occupiers to sit out of life in New York -- and the other places the protests are occurring? Are Mommy & Daddy paying your way, so you can protest against the companies that pay them? The devices you use as you sit in the park and march down the streets are better than I can afford. Are your parents paying your way -- or is the government -- which means ME?
Are you registered to vote? DO you vote? I do -- every single election since I turned 18.
I believe we absolutely have the right to protest whatever we see as wrong in our government.
I also believe we have the ability, & the right, in this country, to work for what we want. Do you see the mega-corps as evil empires? Don't buy their products. Don't work for them. Don't owe money on their credit card. Save up & pay cash. Save in a credit union, or small, locally-owned bank.
I believe in Dave Ramsey's Great Recovery. Get out of debt & save money. We need to go back to handling our money the old-fashioned way. This will help each individual, and, on the way, help the country.
I don't know the ultimate answer. I only know what I believe is the right way to live my own life. I'm getting myself out of debt. I'm saving money. I won't patronize BoA, Chase (and I owe them money), or any of the other megas.
However, I will invest in companies that are working for MY dreams.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
The Battle of the Sexes is Real!
Jordan woman killed in hospital over pregnancy
They're killing us.
Why did we ever hook up with them in the 1st place? Why did we believe them when they said they'd "protect" us, take care of us? Who do they protect us from? Other men! Catch-22. Unless you have a man protecting you, you are at the mercy of any other --- MEN!
I'm not a man-hater. I'm not lesbian. I believe that the perfect reflection of God is the melding of man & woman. I believe "the 2 shall be as 1" is really true. The co-creative relationship of male & female is a synergy wherein the 2 individuals become a new creation that is more than the sum of it's parts. And best reflects the Almighty.
I like strong men. Men who want a partnership with the woman they love, and understand that one of their roles in that partnership is to protect & care for the woman when she is childbearing & -rearing. Not to make the woman les, but to preserve what they love.
That re-creation of God is not possible when one half of the reflection feels they can beat, abuse & kill the other half. It is not possible if men own women. It's not possible if women are seen as not-people.
Millennia of oppression in culture after culture leave me with one reaction to another report of this strange mindset in men. It's not outrage. It's not resignation. It's not activism. My response: Kill Him.
Do you think if we kill every man who abuses a woman, kills a woman (or child for that matter) -- maybe we'll remove the genes for that kind of deviant behavior from the human race? Can we get to them before they breed?
They're killing us.
Why did we ever hook up with them in the 1st place? Why did we believe them when they said they'd "protect" us, take care of us? Who do they protect us from? Other men! Catch-22. Unless you have a man protecting you, you are at the mercy of any other --- MEN!
I'm not a man-hater. I'm not lesbian. I believe that the perfect reflection of God is the melding of man & woman. I believe "the 2 shall be as 1" is really true. The co-creative relationship of male & female is a synergy wherein the 2 individuals become a new creation that is more than the sum of it's parts. And best reflects the Almighty.
I like strong men. Men who want a partnership with the woman they love, and understand that one of their roles in that partnership is to protect & care for the woman when she is childbearing & -rearing. Not to make the woman les, but to preserve what they love.
That re-creation of God is not possible when one half of the reflection feels they can beat, abuse & kill the other half. It is not possible if men own women. It's not possible if women are seen as not-people.
Millennia of oppression in culture after culture leave me with one reaction to another report of this strange mindset in men. It's not outrage. It's not resignation. It's not activism. My response: Kill Him.
Do you think if we kill every man who abuses a woman, kills a woman (or child for that matter) -- maybe we'll remove the genes for that kind of deviant behavior from the human race? Can we get to them before they breed?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
News & Messages
Spiritual shift yesterday:
1) I don't have to work a traditional/conventional job. What a concept!
2) Old people are awesome! Their bodies remember their "moves" even if they can't really do them any more.
What this all means, I have no idea. But there it is.
1) I don't have to work a traditional/conventional job. What a concept!
2) Old people are awesome! Their bodies remember their "moves" even if they can't really do them any more.
What this all means, I have no idea. But there it is.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Air Conditioning Conspiracy
I came to this conclusion back in the 1970s -- before the term "global warming" had been coined. As I passed office buildings in Chicago, on my way to work, the air conditioners sticking out of the walls blew hot air into already hot city summer streets. It occurred to me that this might be adding to the heat. If the way to cool indoor air was to blow hot air outside -- do you think that might make it hotter outside? And, looking up, knowing that new buildings had central air conditioning, with the blowers on the top of the buildings, blowing that heated air into the sky, I just knew that would cause some kind of climate change.
As we became more & more dependent on computers, going to desk-tops, rather than a central computing facility with stations in each department, temperature control offices became more & more important. Air conditioning became ubiquitous.
When the hole in the ozone layer became alarming, air conditioners were changed from cooling with CFCs to using HCFCs and other less damaging compounds. But nothing's been done about the huge amount of heat they spew into the surroundings. It's not even talked about.
Then we began hearing about global warming. It was because of cars, and heating our homes, and pleasurable things. Nobody spoke of air conditioners, or keeping computers cool. That's not even talked about.
I say air conditioners are the reason for global warming! And, I think, that because the computers want to stay cool -- they are making sure no environmentalist group starts to holler about air conditioning & what it's doing to the environment. It's a conspiracy!
Think about it -- it's cooling season somewhere on the Earth all the time.
As we became more & more dependent on computers, going to desk-tops, rather than a central computing facility with stations in each department, temperature control offices became more & more important. Air conditioning became ubiquitous.
When the hole in the ozone layer became alarming, air conditioners were changed from cooling with CFCs to using HCFCs and other less damaging compounds. But nothing's been done about the huge amount of heat they spew into the surroundings. It's not even talked about.
Then we began hearing about global warming. It was because of cars, and heating our homes, and pleasurable things. Nobody spoke of air conditioners, or keeping computers cool. That's not even talked about.
I say air conditioners are the reason for global warming! And, I think, that because the computers want to stay cool -- they are making sure no environmentalist group starts to holler about air conditioning & what it's doing to the environment. It's a conspiracy!
Think about it -- it's cooling season somewhere on the Earth all the time.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Love & Manipulation
Today I took my son to Detox. Yay!
Since I dropped him off, it's become clearer & clearer to me the many ways I've been manipulated. Not only by him, -- and, by him, not only in this issue -- but by my ex-husband, who was pretty sure what he was looking at but sent Son cross-country to Mom anyway rather than tackle the issue himself, and by my oldest son & his wife, altho that was rather less, but by them backing me into a corner where I had to confront an issue with an adult child. I'm not sure it even was my issue to confront! Regardless, even if it was/is my issue to deal with -- I was left out there, hanging in the wind, naked & ashamed, with no support, shoulder to cry on, advice, yadda, yadda, etc., etc. Alone again, naturally.
I'm sure some of this is self-pitying BS, but it IS how I'm feeling, at the moment. Rationality and compassion may return later. At this moment -- this is all about me and how y'all have done me wrong.
Our book says to look at how we have made decisions that put ourselves in a position to be hurt. Well, the biggest thing that puts me in a position to be hurt is loving someone. Anyone. Doesn't matter who -- child, adult, relative, friend. They're all looking out for their own best interests. No one is looking out for MY best interests. Except me.
Is that the way it's supposed to be? Did I miss something somewhere? If I look out for myself, at your expense, I'm selfish & self-centered. If you look out for yourself, that's only to be expected. I should not expect others to take care of me. That's a Catch-22 with me on the short end all the time.
OK. This is the child who, growing up, would assess a situation where he wanted a boon, determine what we parents would most want in exchange for that privilege, provide it, and get his way. I never thought of that as manipulative, since it was always clear what he was doing & why. I also thought it was a great skill to develop, since that's pretty much the way the world works.
After the divorce, he stepped up to my right hand. He assumed the "man-of-the-family" role, which I appreciated (and needed) in many ways -- but I also had to back him down, at times, from taking too much of that role on. He wasn't the Dad, altho he was the oldest male in our little 1/2-household. In time, he realized that my continuing emotional mess was to his advantage -- I was too exhausted & distracted (mostly by my daughter's drug & alcohol abuse & rehab & relapse) to stay on top of his doings. He got away with a lot. He could always put a convincing spin on questionable behavior that would get me to back down. If I wouldn't back down, he'd take the behavior elsewhere. For the most part. Not always. Like, when I had to start putting my wallet & car keys under my mattress when I slept so he & his friends couldn't use my car and debit card in the middle of the night. I didn't kick him out -- I removed the near occasion of sin.
I didn't want to believe he was stealing from me, because I didn't want to believe he would hurt me like that. I was making less than $10/hr -- how can you steal from a poor (literally) mom? Who would do that? Please don't tell me it was my right hand son! But, what happened to my mother's china? Hmmmm?
To me, it was personal. Bad behavior had to do with whether my children loved me or not.
So, Son's been manipulating me for years. I know/knew this. When I moved out here, he started getting sick. I think he expected me to come running home! When I didn't, he was hurt & felt abandoned. That wasn't quite the start, but the incidences increased. Actually, his "illnesses" started when he was 18, legally an adult, with me/us no longer responsible for him.
I have a queasy feeling that he really wants a Mom to take care of him, almost in a child-like way. He won't actually take my advice about his health or lifestyle, but I think he wants to be cared for. Like, he wants us to live in the same place. I'd live next door to him, but I don't want to live in the same place. This idea almost makes me nauseous.
I feel like the Ex-Husband manipulated me by not telling me the full truth about what he was seeing & deducing in Son's behavior. I feel left out to dry by my Other Son & Wife, left to deal with this overwhelming burden by myself. I understand why -- they have their own burden. And, oh! I know what that burden is. But they are 2 to share it -- and I'm alone. NOT fair!
So, I will access others to help me thru this. Can't count on family. Can't count on anyone -- except me.
And -- the Son in Detox just called. He's at the hospital with constipation, and the Detox doesn't want him back for a couple more days. So, whenever he's out of the hospital from the constipation -- he's back here.
*sigh....
No more loving people. You just get manipulated.
Since I dropped him off, it's become clearer & clearer to me the many ways I've been manipulated. Not only by him, -- and, by him, not only in this issue -- but by my ex-husband, who was pretty sure what he was looking at but sent Son cross-country to Mom anyway rather than tackle the issue himself, and by my oldest son & his wife, altho that was rather less, but by them backing me into a corner where I had to confront an issue with an adult child. I'm not sure it even was my issue to confront! Regardless, even if it was/is my issue to deal with -- I was left out there, hanging in the wind, naked & ashamed, with no support, shoulder to cry on, advice, yadda, yadda, etc., etc. Alone again, naturally.
I'm sure some of this is self-pitying BS, but it IS how I'm feeling, at the moment. Rationality and compassion may return later. At this moment -- this is all about me and how y'all have done me wrong.
Our book says to look at how we have made decisions that put ourselves in a position to be hurt. Well, the biggest thing that puts me in a position to be hurt is loving someone. Anyone. Doesn't matter who -- child, adult, relative, friend. They're all looking out for their own best interests. No one is looking out for MY best interests. Except me.
Is that the way it's supposed to be? Did I miss something somewhere? If I look out for myself, at your expense, I'm selfish & self-centered. If you look out for yourself, that's only to be expected. I should not expect others to take care of me. That's a Catch-22 with me on the short end all the time.
OK. This is the child who, growing up, would assess a situation where he wanted a boon, determine what we parents would most want in exchange for that privilege, provide it, and get his way. I never thought of that as manipulative, since it was always clear what he was doing & why. I also thought it was a great skill to develop, since that's pretty much the way the world works.
After the divorce, he stepped up to my right hand. He assumed the "man-of-the-family" role, which I appreciated (and needed) in many ways -- but I also had to back him down, at times, from taking too much of that role on. He wasn't the Dad, altho he was the oldest male in our little 1/2-household. In time, he realized that my continuing emotional mess was to his advantage -- I was too exhausted & distracted (mostly by my daughter's drug & alcohol abuse & rehab & relapse) to stay on top of his doings. He got away with a lot. He could always put a convincing spin on questionable behavior that would get me to back down. If I wouldn't back down, he'd take the behavior elsewhere. For the most part. Not always. Like, when I had to start putting my wallet & car keys under my mattress when I slept so he & his friends couldn't use my car and debit card in the middle of the night. I didn't kick him out -- I removed the near occasion of sin.
I didn't want to believe he was stealing from me, because I didn't want to believe he would hurt me like that. I was making less than $10/hr -- how can you steal from a poor (literally) mom? Who would do that? Please don't tell me it was my right hand son! But, what happened to my mother's china? Hmmmm?
To me, it was personal. Bad behavior had to do with whether my children loved me or not.
So, Son's been manipulating me for years. I know/knew this. When I moved out here, he started getting sick. I think he expected me to come running home! When I didn't, he was hurt & felt abandoned. That wasn't quite the start, but the incidences increased. Actually, his "illnesses" started when he was 18, legally an adult, with me/us no longer responsible for him.
I have a queasy feeling that he really wants a Mom to take care of him, almost in a child-like way. He won't actually take my advice about his health or lifestyle, but I think he wants to be cared for. Like, he wants us to live in the same place. I'd live next door to him, but I don't want to live in the same place. This idea almost makes me nauseous.
I feel like the Ex-Husband manipulated me by not telling me the full truth about what he was seeing & deducing in Son's behavior. I feel left out to dry by my Other Son & Wife, left to deal with this overwhelming burden by myself. I understand why -- they have their own burden. And, oh! I know what that burden is. But they are 2 to share it -- and I'm alone. NOT fair!
So, I will access others to help me thru this. Can't count on family. Can't count on anyone -- except me.
And -- the Son in Detox just called. He's at the hospital with constipation, and the Detox doesn't want him back for a couple more days. So, whenever he's out of the hospital from the constipation -- he's back here.
*sigh....
No more loving people. You just get manipulated.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Going Non-Smoking
Weirdest thing about not smoking is my time sense is all screwed up. And, I'm clumsy -- my body awareness is undergoing a change.
Odd, very odd.
Odd, very odd.
I'm quitting smoking. It's Day 6. Today is harder. My addiction is telling me "OK, you've proved your point. You can have one now."
It lies. It wouldn't be just one.
I'm using nicotine lozenges. They work! Let me recommend them! Today they're taking care of the physical craving, but the mental noise goes on, and on.
I'm also in NicA, the 12-Step program for nicotine users. I'm praying, making phone calls, posting & emailing people who care. I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I'm impatient, I want relief from my own head.
I'm twitchy. I don't want to be in my own skin. I can smell my own teeth. I want something to do. I want to do nothing. I want to talk to someone. I want to be left alone.
ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!
Good things:
My voice is smoother, isn't cracking/breaking. Already!
I can smell the world! Trees & flowers & grass & the AIR!!!!! Wow! Air is beautiful!
My teeth are whiter! Amazing! So soon!
People tell me my skin color is better
I'm kinda headachy and buzzy.
It lies. It wouldn't be just one.
I'm using nicotine lozenges. They work! Let me recommend them! Today they're taking care of the physical craving, but the mental noise goes on, and on.
I'm also in NicA, the 12-Step program for nicotine users. I'm praying, making phone calls, posting & emailing people who care. I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I'm impatient, I want relief from my own head.
I'm twitchy. I don't want to be in my own skin. I can smell my own teeth. I want something to do. I want to do nothing. I want to talk to someone. I want to be left alone.
ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!
Good things:
My voice is smoother, isn't cracking/breaking. Already!
I can smell the world! Trees & flowers & grass & the AIR!!!!! Wow! Air is beautiful!
My teeth are whiter! Amazing! So soon!
People tell me my skin color is better
I'm kinda headachy and buzzy.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Black Friday
So, retailers did "OK" on Black Friday. Consumers spent.
I have to admit, I still have a problem with blaming economic ups & downs on consumers. The glitch in the economy comes from an entirely different direction. Consumers are the last stop on the block. If an ordinary, average-income, average-type-job American doesn't feel as if his/her finances are secure, they will cut back on spending, perhaps right back to food, clothing, shelter. Now, what makes Joe/Jane Average feel financially secure? A job. A job that pays enough to cover their needs, plus a bit extra for the future. A job that's gonna be there. A job that holds the promise of advancement for good work.
So, you want Mr/Ms Average to spend? Provide them with jobs.
I read a sci-fi story, once-upon-a-time, where the majority of people were on the dole. Their job was to buy, Buy, BUY. The poor were charged with buying up the produce of the automated factories, to keep the economy going.
Sound familiar?
I have to admit, I still have a problem with blaming economic ups & downs on consumers. The glitch in the economy comes from an entirely different direction. Consumers are the last stop on the block. If an ordinary, average-income, average-type-job American doesn't feel as if his/her finances are secure, they will cut back on spending, perhaps right back to food, clothing, shelter. Now, what makes Joe/Jane Average feel financially secure? A job. A job that pays enough to cover their needs, plus a bit extra for the future. A job that's gonna be there. A job that holds the promise of advancement for good work.
So, you want Mr/Ms Average to spend? Provide them with jobs.
I read a sci-fi story, once-upon-a-time, where the majority of people were on the dole. Their job was to buy, Buy, BUY. The poor were charged with buying up the produce of the automated factories, to keep the economy going.
Sound familiar?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
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